Does your heart start racing when you start to hear or see the values that you hold dearest? Mine does....
I hear these words or I see them in action and life excites me. It sometimes surprises me. I have been bowled over recently by stories of people showing the most amazing compassion, integrity, creativity, vulnerability and kindness. For me, this is what makes life worth while.
I regularly check what I do and how I am against the values that are most important to me. I often don't measure up. I often settle for less than what I want. I choose ease over living life to the full. I choose selfishness over community. Pretence over authenticity. Hiding rather than being transparent. I am faithless rather than faithful. Surface rather than depth. But I do try. There is something within me that seems to not want to settle and until it finds what it is truly seeking.
My heart will also start to beat, panicked, when these values are dishonoured. Often by me. Sometimes by others. My conscience reminds me, yet still I walk into situations where I choose what is 'less'. And as a result I am less. These values are who I want to be. Who I am meant to be. Created to be. And when I choose to be a lesser version, it hurts. Life is not so bright, so full. And neither am I.
God has called us to be many things. We are called to be living wholehearted, full lives. I think He has sown individual values into our characters. Our souls. And we notice when they are not honoured. When we don't measure up. I think it is because we are not yet who we are created to be. And that ache in your heart, that's the reminder. We see glimpses now and then. But we are not there yet. We have to persevere. To reflect. Grow. Choose.
God is showing me that I CAN choose. I have been convicted of the phrase "that's just who I am!" The many times I have been less than what I can be is because I have allowed myself to believe that it is out of my hands and that the box I put myself in is really who I am. It is not. I am an evolving being that is sum of her choices.
We can choose and own the consequences of our choices. And then choose again. This is freedom.
So lets do just that. Lets choose daily. Choose to be what God has created us to be. Choose to change and grow. When we grasp the fact that we hold the reigns of life, we are set free and can move in the direction God calls us.