"Never once did I ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own, you are faithful, God you are faithful". The words from a new song by Matt Redman that the 10,000 young people in soul survivor sang at the top of their voices. But I struggled singing it because there have been times when I have screamed at God and asked Him to show me He was there because I felt so alone but He didn't!
So should I convince myself that God is always there even at the times when I feel nothing and see nothing because that is what the preachers and the Bible says for me to do? Or do I allow doubt to creep in, allow my faith to be rocked and start to find arguments to show God isn't there? Or do I ignore it and have a child like relationship with God when I never tackle the big questions?
If I ask the question 'does God exist?' and look at the answer through the eyes of the evil in the world and the times when I don't feel Him or see Him then my answer would be 'probably not!' But if I add to that the fine tuning of the universe, the higher power arguments, the complexity of life itself then my answer would be 'probably!' But then if I add to that the times when He has answered my prayers, revealed Himself to me, the times I have prophesied truth, the miracles I have seen, my relationship with Him when I walk and talk with Him, then my answer would be 'it's a fact that He does!'
So that means that at the times when I do not see Him and do not feel Him, He is there, He is just silent! I once told God that I was sorry that He had to so often break me before I listen to Him. I have learned so much more during my times of suffering and loneliness than I do when on top of the mountain. Not that God doesn't change and mature me in both situations!
So now I can truly sing "Never once did I ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own, you are faithful, God you are faithful".
Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night, even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.